I hear the phrase all the time, “You need to learn how to say no” (I think women hear this a lot). Yet, I didn’t know when to say no. I didn’t have any kind of objective guide so I just kept on saying, “Yes”, and “Ok”, and continued to pile responsibilities on myself.
Many of us spread ourselves WAAAAAY to thin with the amount of time we have VS. what we try to accomplish. When we run faster and longer than we have strength we eventually: become a mess, emotionally breakdown, get ill, or sink into depression! It’s easy to do; as a society we often over-function, over-commit, and over-stress.We need to know our load limit. For our health, and for the people who love us, we should know how much is too much and avoid getting to that emotional breaking point.
We need to learn how to say, “No”. The problem with this is that saying “no” is usually looked down upon in our society.
So how do we please everyone? We can’t.
It is harder for some people than others. Some people love to people please and are so kind they can’t refuse the opportunity to help another. And I admit that helping and serving others is one of the BEST uses of time out there. Taking care of others is truly one way to have happiness and a rich life. If you are a mom or dad, a spouse, or any type of caregiver, you are taking care of and serving those you care for the majority of your day, each day, and that is really awesome.
That said, you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of another. Over-functioning, over-committing, and over-stressing is NOT taking care of yourself.
In order to stay focused on my priorities I created a guideline for myself by making this Infographic, ‘Your Guide on When and How to Say, “No”.’
I hope it proves useful to you. Feel free to print it out or share it. Just please keep my website address on it.
How have you said no, or tactfully let others down? I’d love to hear it.
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This is Lauren from How Bourgeois.
You are so sweet and kind to write such a thoughtful comment to me today. THANK YOU so much for taking the time to do that. Your guide on how to say “no” was just LIFE CHANGING ! I love it!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I have already used your guide SEVERAL times to make decisions. Really, thank for caring and for helping others. Your site is WONDERFUL. You’re a beautiful person both inside and out! <3
I just went and put "Please understand me" on my Amazon wish list. It looks PERFECT! I'd love to read it. I'm going to check our library first, right away. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I am following Live Like You're Rich, so I'll keep an eye out for any future introvert posts. 🙂
Happy New Year to you and your sweet, little family. (I'm a Mama to one son as well!) Denali is just adorable.
So nice to meet you and thank you again Anita!
Anita Fowler says
Ahhh thanks Lauren for stopping by! I’m so so glad this post has helped! That is so fun that we are both mom’s to sons. Thanks for your sweet comment and let me know how you like the book. I’ll let you know when I post the article! Have a Happy New Year!
Wendy Roberts says
I love this and have shared it with my college-aged daughter and her friends. Years ago, an older friend told me to use the phrase, “I would love to but my plate is just too full right now.” I have found that no one can argue with that! Balance is so important and so hard to maintain. Thank you for your great advice!
Anita Fowler says
Wendy- Ahh thanks that is so nice of you! Yes it is such an important thing to have balance in life. Thanks again!